MY SON

Today, twenty-seven years ago, my son was born.  He was a miracle baby.  I'd been told I couldn't have children after two surgeries and three years of trying.  I got up one morning sick to my stomach and two weeks later was fighting with the doctor, "You told me I could never get pregnant, are you sure?"  Another couple of weeks of morning sickness and I was convinced.

Pregnancy wasn't easy as I had to keep working and the chances of carrying my child full term were slim.  I tried to be as healthy as I could but I had a non-working husband and someone had to pay the bills.  My Mom drove us to the hospital as our car heater wasn't working and it was a blizzard outside.  Just making the 50 miles to the hospital was an adventure.  Everything about that night remains burned into my brain, every smell, every emotion is still shiny and new when I think about it.

And you know, most of the next twenty-seven years have been full of that same joy.  My son has grown into adulthood as a loving caring responsible person who doesn't automatically feed into the bullshit around him.  He asks questions.  He thinks about things before he takes action and he enjoys his life.  I feel like I succeeded as a mother when I see him smile and know he is happy in his life.

This day what I wish for him is a lifetime full of happiness and creativity.  I wish him a lifetime full of love and joy.  I wish that where ever he goes or whatever he does, it is what he wants and that he finds fulfilment in it.  I love you my son. 

Thailand

I read this morning where the Thai people had managed to get rid of their corrupt government by blocking their airport for more than a week.  A judge threw out the Prime Minister and effectively disbanded his corrupt government!  Good for the Thais.  Why couldn't Americans have done that during the last eight years?

We let a President (and his government) who even now is admitting he did "a few things" wrong and he's "sorry" about the state of the economy , ruin our country, rape our Constitution and lose the goodwill of the world.  We, as a people, did very little.  The few protests were not held where they might have made any difference as people could get arrested if they didn't have a permit to march.  Asking the corrupt government to allow you to protest just isn't all that ballsy an action, is it?

Our protesters just didn't have the stick-to-itiveness of the Thais I guess.  They were worried about getting arrested ( I know it passed through my mind when we were being reviled for our anti-war protesting BEFORE the Iraqi war.)

 They had too much and too many other interests to have the passion it took the Thais to get rid of their very own version of BUSHCO.  I look at Obama and hope I am looking at Change.  And I hope if I am not, that people get off their dead asses and do something before the tattered rags of America are completely shredded.  Think about Thailand, a poor country with  brutal punishments , and what they have accomplished and be ashamed we let it go so long.

Nasty Miserable Cold!

What a miserable morning!  I got up in the cold, listening to the winds howling outside for the fifth straight day.  Today I'm taking my poor dog for a walk no matter what.  I'm lucky that my fire-building skills are hones to a fine edge.  The fire was built and roaring in a matter of minutes.  One match, that's all!  A smug smirk is on my face just in case you need help visualizing the scene!  The tea water is on.  This morning I'm having Honey Vanilla Chamomile!  That sounds good.  

The Thanksgiving storm may be the beginning of a long winter in Empire.  Already we are having stead snow while the rest of the state is show blue sky and fluffy clouds.  There is nothing fluffy about the day up here.  The snow is still coming down sideways and it is cold outside, 10 deg F, not to mention the wind chill with thirty mile an hour winds.

Inside my house though, I've just let the dog back inside and he's in front of the stove getting rid of the snow.  The cat is sitting on the wood cabinet trying to decide if a flying leap only to dog's back is in his near future.  Tea water is starting to boil and I can no longer sit on the stove, it's too hot.  I think things are looking up!

HOW NICE!

It is howling like a banshee outside, sucking the heat up the chimney.  I've got the damper solidly closed and it doesn't help a bit.  Still the air is slowly heating in the room.  The tea water will be hot soon and the smell of some spicy mixture will drift through the whole place.  

I recently did a cheap but effective change over from a screen door to a storm door by covering the backside with a multi-layered plastic sheet I made from a #.99 drop cloth and duct tape.  It cut down the draft in the house that the weather stripping just wasn't getting.  I don't know, a loose door frame perhaps?  Whatever the reason I'm pleased with the result.

The sun is starting to come up enough to change the landscape outside from dark and miserable to white, foggy and miserable.  What a good day to be inside!  I still have to throw and stack another quarter of a cord of wood but that is warming exercise.  It also smells good.  Then, I'll take some pictures or maybe even just start outside, painting watercolors on the porch.  I want to paint the white, grays, silvers, charcoals, blacks and tiny flashes of red and green that can be seen in the blowing snow.

When I've proven once again how limited my skills are compared to nature I'll go inside and make cookies.  I'll have to cook them down at the neighbor's as I still haven't gotten a new oven but he doesn't mind that as I split the results with him.  While I'm waiting for those cookies to cool I'll take my dog for a walk.  I like bundling up and walking in a snow storm through our local cemetery, another place where unexpected spots of color show up,

An afternoon of reading and music, watching a movie and fixing something good for dinner seems like a great idea to me.  The limited amount of groceries in my cabinet (I didn't get to go shopping before the car broke down) is a challenge.  Some of my best meals have come out of situations like this.  I'm looking forward to this one.

How nice not to have to drive on icy highways with the holiday crowds. This year there are probably fewer people but I haven't been close enough to the Highway to know.  It's part of my mini-vacation.  So far, life is good!

THANKSGIVING

Thanksgiving morning and my fire is blazing merrily away.  I'm drinking a Gypsy Chai with black pepper, cinnamon, cardoman, orange peel, ginger, and a number of other tasty ingrediants.  It is a tea that makes me feel cosy, homey, and grateful for a number of things.  My animals are enjoying the warmth and their company is an unending source of joy, humor and unconditional love.    I have a wedding candle burning with it's lush floral scents and on the wood stove a piece of pine sap is just starting to melt and send out it's aroma.

I'm not gathering with friends and family today as I'm ill but I'm still grateful for them.  I have the best son I could ever dream of having.  His partner is a joy to me and I love to talk to her.  They make me happy just by being happy together.  The rest of my family are all unique individuals and life would have been poorer without them. 

I have long friendships with people I can never hope to live up to in generosity, kindness and understanding but I try.  My friendships have been one of the great joys of my life and one of the things I am most thankful for now or at any other season.  

At any time I can look out my windows and have to catch my breath from the beauty I see there.  The air I breath still smells good to me and there are still springs on the mountain I can drink from without fear.  

I am still in good enough shape to find my way up the side of a mountain every so often,  I can still wild craft my herbs and find mushrooms to eat.  I can walk my dog beside rivers and see bear, coyote, deer and elk.  

So, though I won't have the big dinner and gathering today, you can see I have many things to be thankful for.  Perhaps the top of the list has been gaining the patience and wisdom to know this is only one missed holiday and that next year will brings it's own joys and celebrations.

Happy Thanksgiving!

NOT THIS YEAR!

This is what it looked like here last year at this time.  Not so much this year, like the ground is bare and some things are still green in the garden!  Tell me there is no global warming in effect!  Our ski areas are hurting and their only snow is manmade.  There's a thought.  When did man start wanting to make snow instead of hibernating during the cold season?

It's going to be one of those days.  You know, the kind of day you think about odd things.  Your thoughts don't really focuse for quite a while on any one subject.  I can't seem to get a coherent pattern going this morning.  Must be because I have no coffee.  AAARRRGG!!  What am I babbling on about when I could be counting the seconds until the local coffee shop opens?  

When is that shop going to start delivery service?  When are they going to open before 8:00 in the morning?  The day is half over by then..  I think I'm getting nervous!  LOL!  Have a good morning and I hope you have coffee.

THIS MORNING

I started the day with a feeling of awe, a drenching in beauty, a gift from the earth and sky of colors.  My whole mood was better after spending time watching this sunrise from start to finish.  It takes as long to drink a cup of coffee as for this miracle to come to a finish.  I think watching the sunrise is a meditation.  It soothes me and directs me into a calmer more peaceful day than the last one. 

Today I start begging rides to work again while I hope my car's clutch won't take forever to replace or cost my Christmas money!  So I needed some calmness.  I do try to live in the day and I have a ride to work today.  To each day it's problems and it's solutions, tonight I will worry about tomorrow's ride!  

 I talked to my boss last night and we'll work on a schedule that will allow me to get weekly doctor visits again.  Much as I hate them, if the end result is good, I'll do it.  I want to be able to keep on working and to get many problems fixed before my insurance is no longer available to me, should that happen.  In four more years I will have my car paid off and hopefully in good shape.  After that i can take a breath and hope that all my medical issues will be in line and maybe old age won't be as bad as my grimmer moments portray it!

In fact, after watching this morning's sunrise I'm pretty sure nothing will be as bad as I thought last night.  Mornings have a way of doing that for me.