Silver Plume Roses

So, the title  of this blog is misleading.  It's not about that beautiful picture of roses.  It's not about the history behind these bushes, the fact they came from England in the 1880s.  It's not about a calm day appreciating the beauty around me.

It's about me spending a day being a crabby whinny bitch.  What makes me do that?  Is it the constant stress of the last 10 years, always building, never breaking for more than a few days at a time?  Is it mood swings caused by the diabetes and/or RA?  How about from the medications I'm on, all of which list mood swings as a side effect?  Is it just because I am a horrible person and am mean, envious and crabby?

Is it because I am being screwed at work and find it hard to let it go?  Why should I even think about it if it won't change?  I need to get over it and just stop working so hard.  And I need to never say anything else about it.  I've made my complaints now it's time to shut up.  

Things aren't going to change for the better so I guess, once again, I have to.  And I need to get out of this funk quick.  I am being bombarded from all sides with criticism.  Some of it I am taking entirely too personally.  Some of the funk is just from working with someone who doesn't do their share.  That's not going to change but I can do less than I do.  I find that very hard but if I'm slacking also I can't get mad at others for doing it now can I?

So I'm hoping today is a better day and I'm working on it from my side.